Top 5: Hottest (Female) Book Characters

On account of being too lazy to take pictures of my doodles, have another Top 5. The girls this time!

(1. Zanna Martindale from the Last Dragon Chronicles by Chris D'Lacey

 Sorry, no official pictures of her. No one knows who she is, I betcha. But she's up there on my list of book hotties, because (a. She's powerful both in character and in actual magicky stuff - in the series, she's a sibyl, a kind of witch. And she gives all the boys what for, like when Tam Farrell comes nosing around her shop and she's all like "Dude, get off." She doesn't take crap from anybody. And in a series full of dark magic and nosy boys and creepy old grannies and talking polar bears and ancient dragons and stuff, she holds her own remarkably well. (b. She's not a skinny flat-chested supermodel, which I appreciate. She's got some shape to her. Also, pale skin and dark hair. Always awesome. (c. When she and David are doing science in the Arctic, she rocks the chunky sweaters. Gotta love a chick who can rock the chunky sweaters. (d. She's dating a brainy writer type (who is also magical.) Good choice, Zanna, good choice. (5. She (spoiler) has an adorable magic daughter, who I also love. And she never gives up on David, even when he's supposedly dead. Loyal to her family, both immediate and adopted. Love that in a girl.

(2. Russa Nodrey from The Long Patrol by Brian Jaques

(Sorry, again, I've never drawn her, but here's a drawing from Dekabristmouse on DeviantART.)

 The Long Patrol was always one of my favorite Redwall books, mostly because of this character. (a. She just kicks so much butt. It's a little ridiculous. She's got the badass whacking stick and the whole stoic loner thing going on, and she's kind of a ninja. (b. Squirrels are beasty. Points for climbing. Long-eared squirrels? Even more better. And who hasn't wanted a tail? (c. She becomes the main character's mentor for a time and teaches him important lifeskillz. So obviously, she knows things. Smart lady. Love that. (d. She's got boatloads of fierceness and courage. Outnumbered? No problem. Gonna stand here and beat on 'em with mah stick until they're dead or I am. (e. Spoiler - she dies. One of the saddest deaths in the whole series, in my opinion. She's not even in the story for very long, but by the time she goes out, we're all in love with her and it's horrible to lose her so early.

(3. Johanna Mason from the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins

(Again, don't have any drawings of her, so have a sexy picture of the actress instead.)

So, this chick. I hated her at first, but in the last book she totally grew on me. Why: (a. Much like Jace Wayland, she's a lovable jerk. A bitingly sarcastic, grouchy, secretly vulnerable jerk. (b. Much like Artemis Fowl, she starts out as sort of an antagonist and becomes a staunch ally and inherently good person by the end. (c. Short haircuts are hot. (d. This chick walks around naked. No shame. (e. She's got guts. She makes herself do the soldier training in the third book so she can storm the Capitol with Katniss, even though she's still recovering from being tortured. She does whatever it takes to get there, and then when she screws up the final test, she's so pissed because she really really wanted to go mess up the Capitol. She just doesn't give up. Ever.

(4. Siri Tachi from the Star Wars extended universe

 Possibly my favorite character in all of Star Wars. She just rocks hardcore. (a. Purple. Lightsaber. Stahp. (b. Dangerous blond chick. And again, short hair is hot. (c. She and Obi-Wan are my Star Wars OTP, closely followed by Qui-Gon and Tahl. Those two are so friggen adorable. And tragic. But that's part of why it's adorable. And whenever they're not secretly dating, they've got the best intimate friendship. (d. She's one of those rigid, no-nonsense types - but, under the hard shell, she's got some soft spots. We just don't get to see them very often. She doesn't take crap from anybody, though, and she expects excellence of herself and everyone around her at all times. (e. Even on the brink of death, she's teasing Obi-Wan for worrying too much. How wrenchingly adorable is that?

(5. Holly Short from the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer

I think we can all agree that the graphic novel did not do our dear Holly justice. I've experimented quite a bit with giving her shorter, more utilitarian haircuts. Why she's awesome: (a. she's a sci-fy fairy police officer. What. (b. Brown skin and short auburn hair. And massive guns. Don't forget those. (c. She's something of a loose cannon when it comes to following orders and deferring to authority figures. She's also stubborn as heck and has a very set concept of right and wrong. (d. Fiercely loyal to her friends, but more than a little snarky and sarcastic to them as well. (e. The first  - and only - female elf to achieve the rank of Captain in the Lower Elements Police. Take that, Corporal Frond.

So there's those lovely ladies. Gotta love 'em.

In other news, I'm going home for Thanksgiving so I can chill with the fam, see some friends, live in a real house, play some Dishonored with the bro, et cetera. Also, I have a boyfriend now. Shut up.

In D&D last week: I was super tired, so Ileana spent most of the session roaring drunk. We did discover, however, that Aloura has a friend named Gavin who lives on a secret island and is outrageously in love with her. Our party went and visited him, and the sexual tension was hilarious. She was utterly oblivious, which made it super easy for the rest of us to make inappropriate jokes behind their backs. Also, Gavin had some very nice booze in the basement of his fancy mage tower. We had to end the session a few minutes early because Tyler and I had gotten our characters so incredibly drunk that we were being completely unproductive. Oh, and some plot things happened in there somewhere, but I don't remember what they were now. Something about corpses floating in regenerative sludge. Yeah.

This week: Woke up naked on top of Tyler in a tavern somewhere. Whoops. Sam was gone, so Aloura's story arc was on pause, which meant Andrew had to scramble to come up with something for us to do for four hours. We ended up with a new tank, since Austin hasn't been to a session in weeks, and he's a thri kreen warrior with an unpronounceable name, so we call him Cricket-Guy. (It's not that weird. Tyler's gorgeous female companion is called Boobs McGee.) After we'd sobered our characters up sufficiently, Cricket-Guy took us to a thri kreen base somewhere, and all the Amber Alchemists were hitting on me because of my magical amber-infused blood. Apparently they wanted a sample of my blood in order to create weapons of mass destruction or something. (Matt and Eric were all for it. Tyler and I were against. I said no.) However, they did tell me that due to my unusual... problem, I could eventually learn how to manipulate amber into malleable weapons for my own purposes. How cool would that be, to have a weapon that could shift from a sword to a flail to a scythe in the middle of battle? Awesome. Anyway, we found an underground lab where many monstrous experiments were stored, as well as the necromantic orb Arturus needed for his questline, and we set a seven-dimensional fire in order to escape from the experiments (which Tyler and I may or may not have accidentally freed from their containment cubes by gratuitously pushing ALL THE BUTTONS.) It was actually a super productive session, even though we didn't have Sam there to keep us on track. I was proud of us.

Sorry, just needed to spill that somewhere. Now, Great Con paper. Yay philosophy! *torches it*

Commander Kip
"Why me, Space?" "Because you are the best." "I'm the best at Space!"
Normal is overrated!

Top 5: Hottest (Male) Book Characters

So I'm gonna do another thing. It's sort of like Thing of the Day, where I do it semi-regularly in order to show you guys sumthin I think is cool, but in the case of Top 5, it'll be a list of five things - characters - that all fit into the same category, and five reasons why they fit into said category. For example, this is Top 5 hottest male book characters, and the next top 5 will probably be hottest female book characters. I'll use a picture from the Internet, if I can find one, and a drawing of the character done by me or another artist. This should be fun. Here we go!

(1. Jace Wayland from the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Claire

Jace is at the top of the list for me, replacing Kartik, who was at the top of the list previously. Why: (a. He's such a cocky jerk at the beginning of the series, and so hard to get along with, but so hot, and ninja skills, and he slays demons and stuff, and just aaaaugh. And as the story progresses, we find out that his jerkishness is hiding a very sweet, wounded boy, which just makes us love him even more. Angsty backstory for the win. (b. Black tattooey things are never not sexy.  (c. One-liners. Jace is the king of one-liners. Everything out of his mouth is hilarious. (d. He has a never-ending supply of angelic weapons on his person at all times. Just knives flying out of everywhere. All the time. It's awesome. (e. He's freaking gorgeous, and he pulls off golden eyes way better than Edward Cullen. Also, he's super hot when he's in pain. Then again, I think that about most hot dudes, because I'm just demented that way.

(2. Artemis Fowl II from the Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer

Oh, Arty. Little babbie Arty. All growed up now. We grew up together, Artemis and I, and my childhood friendshippy feelings towards him turned into a raging crush. I may have mentioned that I finished The Last Guardian, and yes, I did cry. Partly because it was sad, but mostly because it was over. Anyway, he's second on the list. (a. Criminal. Mastermind. Already I'm in love. And at the beginning, he was a child criminal mastermind. Mr. Colfer, brilliant move. Best antihero-turned-hero ever. (b. Pale, vampiric good looks. Also, different-colored eyes, but that's later. (c. Brilliant, but socially awkward. Because that's always adorable. (d. Fiercely loyal to his friends - and has awesome friends. Probably the funniest, beastiest, quirkiest, most lovable team in all of YA fiction. (e. So much character development. So very much. In the first book, he is so totally Lawful Evil, and by the end, so totally Lawful Good. He goes from kidnapping Holly for fairy gold to *SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER* to keep her safe. A complete flipflop. Of awesomeness.

(3. Dustfinger and/or Farid from the Inkworld trilogy by Cornelia Funke

(Didn't want to use the actors, even though Paul Bettany for Dustfinger was a very good choice, so here's a lovely sketch by GoldSeven on DeviantART.)

Again, I grew up with these two. And I list both of them because I truly do love them equally, and I think they're equally hot. I do not ship them, however, because they both have their own lovely ladies. (a. They play with fire. For a living. The end. Also, they subsequently spend a decent amount of time shirtless, which never hurts. (b. Their coloring. Dustfinger is a pasty redhead. Farid has dark skin and curly dark hair. Both of which I love. And Dustfinger, at least, has the sexy facial scars. (c. They're both so sweet with their ladies. *jealous of the ladies* (d. Spoiler - they both die and are resurrected by a loved one. Points for adorableness. (e. They have horned martins as pets. Horns on things that shouldn't have horns is always a great idea.

(4. Elend Venture from the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson

 Sorry, no drawings of Elend. Apparently, I've never attempted to draw him. I should fix this. Anyway. (a. He's a bookwormy, eccentric wealthy scholar type. Socially awkward. Reads at parties. Rumpled clothing, messy hair, the whole bit. (b. At the beginning, he spends his time being physically protected by his tiny dangerous girlfriend because he doesn't have any boss skills yet. Gotta love the role reversal. (c. He rocks the scruffy beard, which not many can do. Nuff said. (d. In the second book, when he's learning how to be a king, his mentor makes him wear white all the time. It's super classy. (e. Spoiler: he does finally get boss powers and start whooping up on bad guys and stuff. Then he and tiny dangerous wife get to do the boss battles together and it's adorable and awesome.

(5. Captain Jack Havock from the Larklight trilogy by Phillip Reeve

Wow, I know a lot of Captain Jacks: this one, Captain Jack Harkness, Captain Jack Sparrow. They're everywhere. And all of them are so freaking hot. But let's talk about Jack Havock for now.
(a. SPACE PIRATE. You all are aware of how much of a thing I have for space pirates. (b. Brown skin and flopsy hair. I am a fan of it. (c. Angsty backstory. Whole family turned into trees. Captured and experimented on for much of his childhood. Forced into piracy to keep himself and his crew of quirky aliens out of the clutches of the British Royal Navy. Angsty backstory stuff. (d. Most of his vocabulary is curse words and "ain't." Because, you know, pirate. (e. He gets shot, bitten, clawed, and otherwise wounded liek all teh tiem, and you know I love it when that happens.

Kay, that's the Top 5 for today. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. If you haven't read any one of those books, read it immediately.

I should prolly do some actual homework now. Wish me luck with that. No Assassins today, which means I get to wear a skirt because I don't have to wear a holster for Sir Beast. Kinda nice for a change. I was getting sick of pants. Watched Atlantis last night, by the way. Forgot how much I love the crew in that one. Particularly Audrey. She kicks butt. Although I love Sweet as well. And Vinny. And Mole. And Mrs. Packard. And Cookie. And Helga, even though she's evil. And I would like to make the argument that Kida has one of the most interesting designs for a Disney princess ever, period. I mean, hello, glowing blue tattoos! And cool hair. Kida is such a babe.

Commander Kip
"Can you swim?" "Yeah, I can swim pretty... girl... good! Pretty - I meant pretty good - pretty - I can swim pretty good."
Normal is overrated!